Can it be? Is it time? Maybe not yet...

Today I am officially 40 weeks pregnant and still waiting patiently for our little man to arrive. We had our weekly check-up on Monday. I was barely 1 centimeter dilated, 50% effaced and the baby was at -1 station. So although he is "in position" my body isn't quite ready yet. Both yesterday and today I have been having contractions on and off but nothing regular.
I'm still working but not sure why since I'm not really "there" when I'm there. I've resolved myself to the fact that if I don't have the baby by Monday, I am going to go ahead and start my leave. At this point, I'm just mostly annoyed when I'm at work and when I have meetings with potential clients, I don't really care if I make the sale or not. It's a waste of time all around.
The most annoying part of being 40 weeks pregnant is that everyone is constantly asking, "Are you in labor?" "Any progress?" "How long is your doctor going to let you go?" For god's sake people, I will let you know when I have this baby! I'm not going to keep it a secret and hide him from you! Do you think I'm not letting him out on purpose??? It makes me not want to leave the house or talk to anyone. The crazy thing is that my due date is TODAY! Not a week ago. Calm down people.....Sorry, I just had to let that out.
The funny thing is that even though last week I was so tired and ready for this pregnancy to be over, this week I am feeling better. Don't get me wrong, I'm ready to not be pregnant and to meet my son but I also feel like I need to just enjoy each moment because once it's over I won't get to go back. No other pregnancy will be quite like my first. Most people are always rushing to the next thing, never enjoying the present moment, just constantly anticipating what comes next. Right here, right now is what matters. Right now my baby is in the safest, best place for him. When he is ready, he will let us know and it will be the best day of my life. Maybe it will be today, maybe next week but for now I will exercise patience and enjoy him being in my extra large belly : )

3,2,1, GO??

There are only 3 weeks left until our due date. Of course that doesn't mean much since most babies don't arrive on their due date. It does, however, mean that no matter how I look at it this pregnancy is coming to an end and very soon I will get to hold my baby boy. The emotional rollercoaster of excitement, nervousness and anticipation is almost more than I can bare. Sometimes it is more than I can bare and after an especially long day, the tears come rolling. What I have learned is to just let them go and after going through several tissues, I will feel much better. I don't need to talk about it or analyze it. It is what it is. This too shall pass.

Everything is ready for our little man's arrival. His room is set up even though he will be sleeping in a bassinet in our room for at least a few months. The car seat is in the car. Thank goodness we went and had our installation checked at the fire station because we didn't quite have it tight enough. He has more than enough clothes to get him through his first few months with us. And, of course, there is more than enough love waiting for him : )

People keep asking me when I plan to stop working. "I'm going to work until he decides to arrive." I respond but in the back of my mind I am wondering if I will be able to. It is becoming much harder for me to get through a full day at work. I am so tired most days that all I can think about is how much longer until I can crash on the couch. There has been a couple days when I'm driving home that I wonder how safe it is for me to be driving because I am so tired. Of course, the alternative is to stop working and sit at home and watch the clock. That doesn't sound like much fun. So I'm going to keep on keepin on as long as I can.

At our check-up on Wednesday, everything went well. Luckily, I was negative for Group B strep which means I don't have to get antibiotics during labor. Most importantly, that means I get to stay home longer once I go into labor. I haven't started to dilate yet but it is still a little early for that. I asked the midwife how big she thought he was and she said he is a little peanut, barely 6 lbs! Now I don't want to have a tiny baby but I also wasn't looking forward to a 9 pounder : ) Looks like if all stays on course, our little munchkin will be about 7.5 lbs. That sounds good to me : )

From the size of my belly, it may seem like the baby is bigger....