2 Months!

So I'm a couple days late but Bennett is two months old! I can't believe it's already been two months. He sure has grown! He was 10 lbs 8 oz at his doctor's appointment on the 19th. He is smiling now and cooing. It is so fun to carry on a "conversation" with him. He rarely cries and if he does it usually means one thing; time for milk! He is starting to be a little more cuddly now. Up until recently, if you held him on your shoulder he would pull his head back to be able to look at the world but now he will just rest his head on your chest or shoulder and quietly take in the world. He loves doing his "exercises." When he is laying on his back, he kicks his legs and stretches out his arms. He is has started to sleep 4-5 hr stretches at night which means he only wakes up once in the middle of the night and then not again until 7am or so. What a treat for momma! I love it when he wakes up and he stretches and grunts. It might be the cutest thing in the world. He is still sleeping in the pack and play in our room but I realize that it will soon be time for him to transition to his crib. He will probably be fine with that, I will be the one that is a mess.

Eric started his leave from work on the 17th so we have been able to enjoy our little man together. (As long as I stay out of the hospital.) We are so blessed to have such an easy, good-natured baby. Bennett is definitely the one driving the train but he is gentle with us : )

He had his first long road trip last week when we traveled to Radford to visit Jakub. He did so good in the car and was very relaxed during the trip. He tolerated us running around and was ok with spending alot of time in the car seat. We couldn't have asked for a better travel companion.

Things that I have learned

Over the last 7 weeks I have learned more than I ever thought possible. Here are some things I have learned:

• No matter how much you prepare mentally for how hard things are going to be, you will be amazed at how hard being a parent is.


• Moms never feel like they do enough (I've asked other moms about this). I will always second guess myself and wonder if I'm doing enough/the right thing. The intensity of the feeling comes and goes but it is always there.


• Just when you think you have something figured out, you don't. ie. Sleeping patterns


• Everyone has their opinions of the "right" way to do things. The "right" way is your way. You can seek advice but until you are in the moment you have no idea what you will do but as long as it feels "right," it is.


• My former life is gone. I might occansionally catch a glimpse of it but for the most part it is gone. I sometimes miss it but this life is truly better.


• "This too shall pass." This one is by no means something new I have learned but it has taken on a greater meaning. Of course, I say this during the hard times but I also remind myself of this during the good times or just the "everyday" times so that I can be present in the moment. Bennett will only be this little for a very short time and I want to take in as much of this time as possible.

There are so many more but that is enough for now. Thank you, Bennett, for bringing these lessons into my life.

Bennett's First Road Trip

Yesterday, Eric, Bennett and I drove up to Richmond to meet up with my sister, brother-in-law and nephew. It was their first time meeting Bennett. Since they were in D.C. for a wedding, we couldn't pass up the opportunity to see them. We met up at Lewis Ginter Botanical Gardens in Richmond. The weather was perfect (maybe a little hot).

Gabe really liked meeting Bennett. It was amazing to see how big Gabe had gotten since the last time we saw him. He was talking up a storm. So cute!

We had lunch and then walked around the park. Gabe found a sandbox to play in.

Luckily, Bennett finally like being in the Baby Bjorn. He really enjoyed taking in the scenery.
It was a great day. Bennett did great in the car and only woke up when we stopped. We can't wait to see Dave, Inga and Gabe again during Christmas.

What a difference...

A little sleep can make. Last night Bennett slept so well. He was fussy in the evening so I thought I was in for a long night. I nursed him and put him in his co-sleeper around 11:30pm and he did not wake up again until about 4:30! I couldn't believe it. He made a few fussy noises in between but quickly fell back to sleep. After is 4:30 feeding, he didn't wake again until 6:30 and then slept until 10am. I know better than to think that now I will be getting a good nights sleep every night but it was such a blessing just to have one night.

Today we were able to get out of the house after being stuck inside because of the rain since Monday. We didn't go far, just walked around the block a few times but it was great. Bennett was awake for the first part of the walk. It is so neat to watch him take in the world. He loves to look around and take in all the sights and sounds.

I can't believe how much he is changing everyday. He is started to smile more and he can focus on things. Sometimes it seems like he is studying my face. Occasionally, I get the feeling that he knows my voice when I come into the room. His personality is starting to show. He doesn't have much patience (not sure who he gets that from) but overall he is a very good baby. He is easy to please. Usually when he is upset it is because he is hungry and that is easy to fix.

I love it when he is awake and making faces.

Like sticking his tongue out:

Or is just being cute:

I can't imagine my life without him. He makes everyday a blessing (even if some days are harder than others). I feel so lucky to be able to watch this little person grow.

3 Weeks

Today is Bennett's three week birthday! I can't believe he has been with us that long! Lately, it seems like each day flies by. It may have something to do with the fact that he eats every 2-3 hrs and usually is eating for anywhere between 20-40 minutes.

He is alert more and more each day. It is amazing to watch him as he takes in the world. He is a really good baby. He barely ever cries and if he does there is a good reason for it. We usually can figure out what it is he wants/needs pretty quickly. Most of the time it has to do with food : )

We don't have a "routine" down quite yet but I know we will get there. It still amazes me that even though I wake up to feed him every 2-3 hours at night, I am still able to function. Last night Eric said to me, "You can't possibly be able to go on like this. You are going to get burned out." To which I replied, "It won't be like this forever." I think it's cute that he is concerned a

bout me. He is so helpful around the house. Today he cleaned the whole house and I didn't have to do a thing! I did some laundry but other than that my job was to feed the baby : ) I am really a lucky girl!

Although I am looking forward to watching Bennett continue to grow and change, I am sad that time seems to be going by so quickly. I wish I could bottle up each moment to open up later and enjoy again.

Can it be? Is it time? Maybe not yet...

Today I am officially 40 weeks pregnant and still waiting patiently for our little man to arrive. We had our weekly check-up on Monday. I was barely 1 centimeter dilated, 50% effaced and the baby was at -1 station. So although he is "in position" my body isn't quite ready yet. Both yesterday and today I have been having contractions on and off but nothing regular.
I'm still working but not sure why since I'm not really "there" when I'm there. I've resolved myself to the fact that if I don't have the baby by Monday, I am going to go ahead and start my leave. At this point, I'm just mostly annoyed when I'm at work and when I have meetings with potential clients, I don't really care if I make the sale or not. It's a waste of time all around.
The most annoying part of being 40 weeks pregnant is that everyone is constantly asking, "Are you in labor?" "Any progress?" "How long is your doctor going to let you go?" For god's sake people, I will let you know when I have this baby! I'm not going to keep it a secret and hide him from you! Do you think I'm not letting him out on purpose??? It makes me not want to leave the house or talk to anyone. The crazy thing is that my due date is TODAY! Not a week ago. Calm down people.....Sorry, I just had to let that out.
The funny thing is that even though last week I was so tired and ready for this pregnancy to be over, this week I am feeling better. Don't get me wrong, I'm ready to not be pregnant and to meet my son but I also feel like I need to just enjoy each moment because once it's over I won't get to go back. No other pregnancy will be quite like my first. Most people are always rushing to the next thing, never enjoying the present moment, just constantly anticipating what comes next. Right here, right now is what matters. Right now my baby is in the safest, best place for him. When he is ready, he will let us know and it will be the best day of my life. Maybe it will be today, maybe next week but for now I will exercise patience and enjoy him being in my extra large belly : )

3,2,1, GO??

There are only 3 weeks left until our due date. Of course that doesn't mean much since most babies don't arrive on their due date. It does, however, mean that no matter how I look at it this pregnancy is coming to an end and very soon I will get to hold my baby boy. The emotional rollercoaster of excitement, nervousness and anticipation is almost more than I can bare. Sometimes it is more than I can bare and after an especially long day, the tears come rolling. What I have learned is to just let them go and after going through several tissues, I will feel much better. I don't need to talk about it or analyze it. It is what it is. This too shall pass.

Everything is ready for our little man's arrival. His room is set up even though he will be sleeping in a bassinet in our room for at least a few months. The car seat is in the car. Thank goodness we went and had our installation checked at the fire station because we didn't quite have it tight enough. He has more than enough clothes to get him through his first few months with us. And, of course, there is more than enough love waiting for him : )

People keep asking me when I plan to stop working. "I'm going to work until he decides to arrive." I respond but in the back of my mind I am wondering if I will be able to. It is becoming much harder for me to get through a full day at work. I am so tired most days that all I can think about is how much longer until I can crash on the couch. There has been a couple days when I'm driving home that I wonder how safe it is for me to be driving because I am so tired. Of course, the alternative is to stop working and sit at home and watch the clock. That doesn't sound like much fun. So I'm going to keep on keepin on as long as I can.

At our check-up on Wednesday, everything went well. Luckily, I was negative for Group B strep which means I don't have to get antibiotics during labor. Most importantly, that means I get to stay home longer once I go into labor. I haven't started to dilate yet but it is still a little early for that. I asked the midwife how big she thought he was and she said he is a little peanut, barely 6 lbs! Now I don't want to have a tiny baby but I also wasn't looking forward to a 9 pounder : ) Looks like if all stays on course, our little munchkin will be about 7.5 lbs. That sounds good to me : )

From the size of my belly, it may seem like the baby is bigger....